Repentance - The Rev. Dr. Herschel Wad

At one point, each CPE student constructs a set of personal and professional goals. One of my goals was to become less emotionally reactive in particularly tense situations. Needless to say, I felt very vulnerable at that moment. My colleagues were invited to comment. One did. Instead of offering encouragement, my colleague restated the need for such a goal and how he had to save me in a situation where I apparently went off the deep end.

 

Well, the next thing I know, I am enraged. I felt judged, betrayed, and misrepresented. My anger took full control, Herschel was simply a passenger. This was the moment my educator had been waiting for. I remember her excitement, “Whew, now we are getting somewhere!”

 

“What was the source of that anger that carried me away?” she asked. My response, “HIM!” She persisted along her lines of inquiry. I persisted in my finger-pointing. The back and forth ended with a verbal undressing. “Worrying about him will not heal your wounds nor help you achieve your goal. You got this.” She was right. I had some work to do. The new focus on me was the beginning of a profound journey of transformation, self-discovery, and spiritual growth. Healed, I engaged differently with the world. In many ways, I was living in a different world.